Ridiculous Coronation

Great happiness has rained down on the lands of Sarkoris! His Majesty Thaberdine Quintissimus Hierophantel, the only living descendant of the line which, as every Sarkoris citizen knows (and if he doesn't, he isn't worth respecting), had once ruled all Sarkoris, has returned to his battered country to lead it in this dark moment and bring it redemption from tyranny and lassitude. Having heard his subject's orisons, His Majesty is prepared to fulfill his people's wishes by officially accepting the crown and ascending to the throne. Festivities will be announced by His grace in the city after the coronation. Beside themselves with joy, His Majesty's servants, including the Commander and others whose names do not matter, should as soon as possible provide the city with ale, punch, wine, grog, moonshine, liqueur, and other essential attributes of a monarch's coronation.