An Exhaustive Enumeration of Count Daeran Arendae's Activities, Submitted for the Approval and Edification of the Eminently Respectable and Highly Esteemed Knight Commander of the Fifth Crusade

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"...Indulged in a number of gloriously naughty reveries, in this particular order: — Dreams of sexual intercourse with a beautiful elven princess: one hour; — Dreams of vigorous sexual intercourse with a squad of muscular southern mercenaries: half an hour; — Dreams of sexual intercourse with Her Majesty the Queen before, on, and under the royal throne in the Grand Palace of Nerosyan: fifteen minutes per act; — Dreams of enjoying a barrel full of Kyonin wine, a soft feather bed, and a fine three-course dinner: two hours, including a break to sustain myself with some upliftingly nutritious army rations; — Dreams of Mendev's bright future where the strict doctrines of the Church of Iomedae are abolished, and dull faces and boredom are punishable by death: ten minutes, interrupted by a sudden twinge of sadness and dismay."